#I am *still* sick :')
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blood fairy
#ocs#vetiver#fairy#started this last month while i was sick. finishing it now while i am still sick#such is life#digital#original art
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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Parents and children~
extra:
#okay i swear this one was funnier on my head#But i was bedridden and high on cough medicine for the past 4 days and only had my ipad to bring me entertainment#so MAYBE my sense of humor was not right#and i'm still sick and i can't deal with coughs anymoreeeeeeeee i wanna draw mihawk properly not scribles dnajskdnjsak#anyways tags!#dracule mihawk#mihawk#one piece mihawk#mishanks#red haired shanks#shanks#akagami no shanks#one piece#op#one piece shanks#akataka#redhawk#op shanks#zoro#perona#ghost princess perona#roronoa zoro#goth family#goth fam#and yeah i see shanks as a terrible dad i am sorry please don't cancel me
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human alastor
(With a bonus baby al)
(Ignore whatever tf I did with the microphones idk how they work I’m sorry)
#I love the fact that he’s half French creole cause I am too we’re twinsies#(Im not a serial killer I promise)#I’m still sick and feeling miserable#He’s my emotional support serial killer#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin art#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel alastor#radio demon#thorium.art#hazbin hotel 2024#hazbin#hazbin hotel art#vivziepop#human alastor#the radio demon#cw blood#sorry i forgot
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its always “we should beat up and kill rapists and abusers!” but the moment someone actually does you all turn on them
#gypsy rose blanchard#amber heard#menendez brothers#lyle menendez#erik menendez#because i am SICK and TIRED of it#its always “why didn’t they fight back?” until they do#you will never understand what it’s like to be a victim of abuse until you are one#so don’t speak on it#and even when they do everything “right”#when they go to police and leave them and keep their distance#they are still victimised and end up dead. just look at nicole brown#anyways fuck johnny depp fuck deedee blanchard and fuck the menendez parents
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danganronpa in 2024..? hello ...?
#is anyone there.#CAN ANYONE HEAR ME..!!!!!#sorry for the jumpscare (if applicable). or congrats?#i remember/am reminded that dr exists every year but i think this is my first time postign it since i was actually Into It.#yasuhiro my first fully recognized (and likely longest) fixation/comfort character....... u deserve the world#love you alive ..!#i still <3 the characters but now that i know how to read its like. Eugh.#hashtag awkward..!#But Oh Well... down with the sickness starts playuing#danganronpa#dr thh#makoto naegi#yasuhiro hagakure#byakuya togami#toko fukawa#genocider syo#hiroko hagakure#<- LOVE YOU ALIVE HIROKO NEVER CHANGE#robart#cw blood
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screenshot redraw from the last ep hehehehe
#kaiju no. 8#kn8#hoshina soshiro#my art#still not over tight shirt will never be over tight shirt#last ep went so hard i am still sick in the head over it#will i ever be normal again after this anime probably not#hope someone gets to rest their head on his chest tonight bless#you'd think he's my fav character by how much i draw him lmfao
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it doesn’t count as kissing if you only use tongue
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Prompt 140
"What?" Geralt asks, frowning, a furrow in his brow. "I turn into a wolf every full moon." Jaskier repeats. "How-" "You were always away on a hunt. You'd just meet me back in the morning." "...You were a werewolf this whole time?" "..Yes. I- I'm sorry, Darling. I never wanted to lie." "Why didn't you trust me with this? Did you think I would hurt you?" "No! I thought I would hurt you. I'm not myself on full moons, Geralt. I can't even remember them. All I know is that the moon raises, i feel this ache in my bones, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up the next morning, nude, with a full stomach of what is HOPEFULLY nothing gross." "...You've not transformed in towns, have you?" "No! Of course not! I'm terrified of hurting someone, Geralt! That's the only reason I'm telling you now! I got the charts mixed up, I thought the moon was still a week away, but it isn't, and we're near a town, and I need you to keep me restrained." A long pause settles between them. "You want me to guard you?" "Guard them. From me. Keep me trapped in a shack and- And lock it up tight. Chain me, hurt me, knock me out, whatever you must do. Keep me from being a danger. I never wanted to be a terrifying beast, Geralt." Jaskier says, with those damned wet doe eyes of his. Geralt agrees. Because he doesn't know a world where he wouldn't. Mere hours later, Jaskier is sat against a beam in an old rundown barn. He's tied up with rope, and chained on top of that. There are no windows in the barn, the door is fully barricaded and locked, and Geralt guards it. "You really should guard it from outside" Jaskier had said. "I'm not leaving you to do this alone. You never should have had to." Geralt replied. Thus, Geralt stands and watches as Jaskier pales and starts twitching. The moon is rising. "It's coming- I'm going to be a beast." Jaskier says with fear, before the transformation takes the air out of his lungs. Geralt watches in horror and awe as Jaskier's body changes, changes, changes.... In... Into a songbird? sitting on the ground is a fat little songbird. It easily hops over the ropes and chains, now much too lose to hold it. Him. Oh my gods. Jaskier's not a werewolf. He's a... were.... werebird... And not even a scary one. Jaskier starts pecking the barn floor and Geralt rubs a hand over his face in exhaustion. He prepared for the worst, and instead is treated to watching Jaskier struggle to bathe in a trough. "Jaskier, it's too deep." He tells the bird, as it fluffs up it's wings. "Jaskier, you're going to-" Jaskier tries to take a step into the birdbath, only to fall, dunking his whole fat little body into the depths of the trough. He flails about in the water, chirping panickedly. Geralt rushes to his aid, gently lifting him out of the water with gentle hands. Perhaps guarding over Jaskier will still be a challenge after all.
#geraskier#geralt x jaskier#geralt x dandelion#the witcher#geralt loves his bard!#fanfiction prompts#witcher fanfiction#writing prompts#requited unrequited love#friends to lovers#“werewolf” jaskier#Werebird jaskier#werebird#Jaskier is all angsty and worried hes a monster#and he turns into a phat littel byeurd#fluff and humor#humor and fluff#fluff and comedy#fluff#cute#sweet#sweet geralt#caring geralt#cursed jaskier#inhuman jaskier#nonhuman jaskier#creature jaskier#yes i am still incredibly sick but the heart wants what the heart wants#Jaskier: “I sure hope when im transformed i dont eat anything gross” (thinking: sentient species- gross monsters Geralt fights- etc)#Geralt now having to explain to him that he instead eats worms:
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#kirby#request#kofi commission#cuccicakes#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#I am still extra sick!#but I am well enough to finally get to this other commission I agreed to literally the day I got extra sick!#and make a couple doilies for the craft fair in december!#which is progress.#after basically doing Nothing for the better part of 7 days.
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I have been meaning to do a crossover with the one and only @kathaynesart for such a long time! And the @tmntaucompetition has created the perfect excuse for this :)
I think Sprout and Omega would have a surprising amount in common, they have a lot they can talk about with one another!
Apologies for the cliffhanger- haha- whoops-
#2 arms left#replica#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#once again thank you diana for making these sick ass viking designs#that still have the plastrons showing because I like drawing them hehe#anyways reason for the cliffhanger: I had the dialogue leading up to this point#but my head blanked on what sort of response omega would give#so I am potentially leaving this to kat if she has time o7 <3#also how rooms/locations work in the multiverse is confusing... haha
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[read from right to left]
clingy.
#yolk.draws#katb_vn#tkatb_vn#the kid at the back vn#tkatb vn#katb vn#IM FREEE#INSERT PULLING OFF MY SHACKLES MEME#i am still not normal unfortunately#i am plague by the sickness that is solivan-itis </3
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“—and the love you are made of.” (and I love you because you are love)
@lovesick-x-prince what if i cried. HUH.
[the thing causing big emotion]
#I am still sick but this WOKE me from my GRAVE#“double wedding” they say like I'm supposed to stay completely normal about that#and @ you!! YOUUU!! the vows. the VOWS. them referencing the poem. grian's version. nay PROCLAMATION. the CHALLENGE#I NEED to BITE SOMETHING /vpos#no i have not read past this point in the chapter bc i know the end'll emotionally destroy me and i can't handle that rn ha h#but my god#trafficshipping#desert duo#scarian#third life#grian#goodtimeswithscar#no i cannot stop thinking about the vows#this is now canon to me with how marriage ceremonies work in the nebulous worlds of mc#i mean. refrencing the end poem like that??? and seemingly subconsciously too?? GENIOUS#i am going to return to my grave now adios>>
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOLOMON,🎉
#it's finally his birthday!#yayyy#kinda rushed this one cuz i was sick this whole period of time#i still am but at least i want to post something today#obey me#obey me solomon#my art#obey me fanart#obey me mc
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Who in the world gets entertained by this stuff? Hey, won’t you tell me? With a smile—up, pull, pull. (MoeChakkaFire by Issey)
#wind breaker#wind breaker nii satoru#suo hayato#hayato suo#sakura haruka#haruka sakura#nirei akihiko#akihiko nirei#sugishita kyotaro#kyotaro sugishita#kiryu mitsuki#mitsuki kiryu#tsugeura taiga#taiga tsugeura#tell me this song doesnt scream suo i dare you#what a happy coincidence that the song i have been obsessed with since like late october#(cuz it reminded me of one of my friend’s ocs)#and nii sensei happens to make a song paro of it lmao#is kiryu wearing makeup#yes and he would absolutely kill with it#ugh sugi my boy i love drawing you in the most extra maid outfit ever#also added some bows on tsugeura’s and kiryu’s headbands#since they're the ones doing the most in this dance#but nirei is a close second#are we still craving maid outfits because i still am#*blasting moechakkafire until my neighbors are sick of me*
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So.
Act 5, huh?
Oh, and that.
"You can start breakdown now."
Finished the game couple of days ago and had some thoughts I needed to process a little. Like. Yes.
So anyway I actually didn't plan this and just wanted to redraw some sprites to just make sure I understand how to draw Siffrin correctly (still working on that!)
What did I learn from this? How fun it it to draw on a canvas that literally doesn't let you draw with colors without some layer cheating when necessary. Never tried it.
The beans. Sleeping beans.
Basically what happens when you want to sleep AND draw. Draw characters sleeping on your behalf.
Doesn't help, but at least it's cute.
I have no idea what was going on in my mind as I drew this. Feels like a fever dream of 'I want to sleep' at 4 am and 'Hm...' of thinking random things
Also that phone craft sign. Still too funny to imagine. I had to.
#fanart#sketch#my art#isat spoilers#isat#siffrin#siffrin isat#isat loop#in stars and time#I also tried to draw the Party too! But that one sketch is too rough yet!#And I'll probably never post it it was fun to draw them tho#Anyway I had /thoughts/ playing Act 5#Not great ones too! I would rather they stayed where I would never even know they exist#But I had to while playing so I did#So it took some time to just sit with everything also I spend a lot of time just doing achievements#One left! The annoying one.#NG+ is fun too#I'm still surprised by how much I enjoyed it#Like 'staying until 6 am playing 10 hours straight' kind of enjoyed#From 'hm I wonder what's it about' to 'yeah I cried multiple times so I think it's allowed to live in my head too'#I got sick multiple times on related and unrelated reasons while playing and planning to play that wasn't fun#Anyway it's cool have some sketches because I couldn't stop drawing last night#I love drawing characters being emotionally in pain but that requires specific mood and music to go with#And not overdoing it#Like when drawing first one 'Aishite' was on loop the whole time#It's b&w too! Red layers are added with 'paste' magic love that
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